fobiaz

As a trained biologist, I personally have succumbed to a fairly common pitfall of all wildlife biologists (and not a few veterinarians!)

I am extremely marked by a gratuitous lack of fear of dangerous animals. I can confidently say that when faced with creatures most individuals would be quaking in fear of, I would staunchly, bravely, and stupidly hold my ground.

Well it is not so much bravery, as it is intrigue and a strong belief that I know enough about said animal to deal with them.

It is also an outgrowth from my cushy position as one of the dominant species on this planet. As an influential (to me at least) Zoologist once said to me (when describing the taste of Hagfish): "I am kind of on a quest to eat everything that I talk about in my Zoology class." This quote really stuck with me (partly because it is funny) because it really illustrates how a lot of us feel. More often than not, we see these animals on the dissecting table or in stews. Kind of hard to be afraid of dinner and pickles.

Still, like I said, its a pretty stupid attitude.

However, the list of "animals I am NOT afraid of but probably should be" is pretty long:
Snakes,
Sharks,
Alligators/crocodiles,
dogs,
BIG dogs,
Tigers,
Spiders (Like Black Widows)....The list goes on for a longggggg time.

ALTHOUGH

There ARE two types of creatures that can cause me to stop, look, and listen.

Horses and MotherFuckin' BEARS.

Like most phobias, this fear is completely unfounded and irrational.

Here are the reasons for each:

Horses- Huge and can Clobber you pretty easily.

Bears- They are fucking BEARS!!!

Neither of those make sense, considering I am not afraid of Hippos, Elephants, or Godzilla.

Ok bye now!
-Robert!

first poast!

Hello Internet! I maek poast! Firstly, I would like to formally direct your attention to the thing that inspired the name of this blog, and something that also gives me a way to direct your attention and get you thinking about me.

Wow that was narcisisstic. Narcissistic. Yea. Anyway

Here it is in all of it's glory.

Take a moment to take this image in in it's entirety. This may be the best made Magic: The Gathering card ever. In a world that is ostensibly full of magic monsters, wizards, necromancers, warriors, and many other fanciful cretures, someone had the bright idea to attach a rocket to the back of a slug.

I like to think that in some way, I am that person.

more to come, stay tuned